Navigating grief at work: Understanding a very personal journey
Jacqueline Kerwood, Head of Claims Strategy and Governance at Aviva, reflects on the deeply personal nature of grief and shares how workplaces can support colleagues with compassion, flexibility and genuine human understanding.
Grief is something we will all face, but it never arrives in a predictable way. It isn’t linear, it doesn’t follow a timetable, and it doesn’t end after the funeral or the first few weeks. It comes back in waves - on birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, or in quiet everyday moments when something familiar catches you off guard.
And because grief is so deeply personal, the support people need at work should be just as personal.
Understanding the personal nature of grief
My own loss came suddenly and without warning. One minute, I was on holiday, sending funny texts to my Dad, and the next, I got the heartbreaking news that he had collapsed and died instantly.
In the days and weeks that followed, the only way I felt able to cope was to keep busy - balancing work, supporting my mum, and helping my children navigate their grief. But even while keeping my focus, the emotions surfaced unexpectedly: a song he loved, something he used to say, or his favourite sport on TV made me feel both comforted and sad.
Why compassionate support at work matters
What made a real difference was how my colleagues and manager responded. They didn’t assume what I needed. Instead, they simply checked in - gently, regularly, and without pressure.
Questions like:
- “How are you coping today?”
- “What would help you this week?”
There was no pressure to talk, no expectation to “move on,” and no time limit placed on how I should feel. That understanding gave me space to cope in my own way.
The importance of flexibility for grieving employees
Flexibility also mattered. Having the option to adjust my workload, take time when I needed it, or work quietly from home helped remove pressure at a time when even small jobs felt too much.
These are simple things, but they carry enormous weight when you’re grieving.
One of the strengths of Aviva’s culture is our willingness to look after each other as people first. I’ve seen colleagues supported through loss with compassion, patience and genuine care - not just in the first days, but months later when grief often resurfaces.
Why presence matters more than perfection
Supporting someone through grief doesn’t require perfect words. It’s about kindness, flexibility, and acknowledging that everyone’s journey is different.
When we offer that understanding, we create a workplace where people feel safe to be human - not just employees, but individuals navigating life’s hardest moments.
AUTHOR
Jacqueline Kerwood
Head of Claims Strategy and Governance
Aviva